Brighter Mind Brighter Life

Who am I?

2011-11-14T16:19:00.000Z

I am your greatest companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onwards or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half the things you do you might just as well as turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great individuals and, alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a human. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am Habit.

Life should NOT be ...

2011-10-26T12:51:00.002+01:00

... a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - glass of Sauvignon Blanc in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
WOO-HOO, what a ride!!!!

The End of the Affair

2011-09-23T16:03:00.000+01:00

Okay, I admit it. I have been having an affair.

I never thought I was capable of that kind of behaviour but it sort of just happened, and before I knew it, I was completely swept off my feet.

At first my husband was oblivious to the situation but it was the little changes in my behaviour that alerted him to the fact. Suddenly I was in a good mood all the time. Nothing bothered me. I felt good and I looked good because I was singing on the inside.

And then there were the trips away. A few days here, a week there. All in the guise of business.

The thing is, I have lived the last five years in limbo, torn between a life I know and another life that fills me with joy and possibilities.

You may be wondering how my husband dealt with it. Well, in a strange way he benefitted from my affair and so he chose to ignore it in the hope that one day it would come to an end.

You see, my affair was not with another person. It was with a place.

I have written about Mallorca before. About going there after an absence of seventeen years and feeling like I had come home.

I feel a special kind of happiness and contentment deep within when I am there. Something that I haven't felt anywhere else.

But last October we went to Florida after an absence of five years, and as I looked around at my family's happy faces, it dawned on me that this was their ideal holiday spot.

They had supported me over the years and enjoyed Mallorca, but here in Florida I could practically hear their hearts singing in their chests and I knew that enough was enough. It was time to cut the strings.

And so, we didn't go to Mallorca this year. We went to Tenerife. The apartment was lovely, the pool quiet, the weather hot, the food good. All the ingredients for a perfect holiday.

Only, it wasn't Mallorca. Or Florida. And try as we might, I didn't hear anyone's hearts singing or even mildly humming.

And yet, I sat there with no yearnings for Mallorca. Yes, we'll go back again sometime but that all consuming passion is gone. I am finally over the affair.

Florida, on the other hand, is calling from somewhere deep within. A slight longing for the golf, the shopping, the people. The parks, the rodeo, the margarita 2 for 1 happy hours. Ruby Tuesdays, The Steak 'n' Ale, BJ's.

Mmmm. I'm beginning to sing just thinking about it.

Only this time I won't be alone in my infatuation.

The best seat on the bus

2011-09-22T15:12:00.000+01:00

I saw this advert last night and couldn't help feeling it's sending the wrong message to men. How many of them will use this to nab the best seats on the bus?

"Aw, sorry hen. Ah didnae want tae insult ye!"

Pillow Talk

2011-09-15T16:37:00.000+01:00

Man: Am I the first man to make love to you?

Woman: Of course ... I don't know why you men keep asking the same silly question.

How Old Would You Be If You Didn't Know How Old You Were?

2011-09-14T11:34:00.000+01:00

I saw this question on a greeting card the other day and it got me thinking.

Would I go back to my childhood? Being a child is great. No responsibility, just endless days of fun. Hmm, tempting.

Would I be a teenager again? No way. Too much angst, too much insecurity, too many nights of quiet desperation.

In my 20's? They were fun and I thought I knew everything, but looking back, I really didn't.

My 30's? Just as much fun but feeling much more secure.

40's? Not doing that again! I lost myself in my 40's. Suddenly I was a wife and mother as well as a daughter, a sister, a cousin, a best friend. Where did I go? Who was this person who spent so much time looking after others that she forgot to look after herself? Where did the person I thought I was disappear to? The one who loved travelling, and speaking languages, and dancing, and horseriding, and ski-ing and adventure. How did she let herself get buried under the mound of responsibility?

50's? Okay, so my 50's have just started, and let me tell you, they've started well. But would I choose to be here and be this me?

60's plus? Realistically, at the age of 50, I'd rather take years off than put them on.

The more I ponder the age thing, the more complicated it gets. If I go back to my childhood, can I stay there? Or do I then have to grow up and relive the whole teenage angst thing, the 25th birthday when I thought my life was over because I was a quarter of a century old, the painful breakup of a relationship, a first marriage.

And then I think, if I didn't know how old I was, then I wouldn't have had all these experiences to colour my judgement. And if I hadn't lived this life that makes me ME, then how would I decide which age to be?

Arghhhhh! My head hurts.

Suddenly the thought of the womb is tempting. Space to myself. A space to stretch and grow and move around. Dance if I want to. A comfy bed. Nourishment on tap. Peace and quiet. No-one bothering me. Plenty of time for quiet contemplation.

Is it cheating to go to a minus age?

On the other hand, I could forget the age thing and book a spa holiday. Space to myself. A space to stretch and grow and move around. Dance if I want to. A comfy bed. Nourishment on tap. Peace and quiet. No-one bothering me. Plenty of time for quiet contemplation.

Now, that's more like it!

You are the author of your own life

2011-01-28T14:53:00.000Z

"Tomorrow, in a very real sense, your life - the life you author from scratch on your own - begins. How will you use your gifts? What choices will you make? Will inertia be your guide, or will you follow your passions? Will you follow dogma, or will you be original? Will you choose a life of ease, or a life of service and adventure? Will you wilt under criticism, or will you follow your convictions? Will you bluff it out when you're wrong, or will you apologize? Will you guard your heart against rejection, or will you act when you fall in love? Will you play it safe, or will you be a little bit swashbuckling? When it's tough, will you give up, or will you be relentless? Will you be a cynic, or will you be a builder? Will you be clever at the expense of others, or will you be kind?"

- Jeff Bezos, CEO and founder of Amazon.com

Just for today, take a few moments out to think about tomorrow.

Reaching new heights

2010-08-31T17:35:00.000+01:00

Okay, so after my last monthly challenge in June I was left flying high and, interestingly enough, in August my challenge was high flying.

(By the way, my July challenge was to be glass walking - yes, walking on a bed of broken glass - but unfortunately it fell through so hopefully it will happen at a later date).

August is festival time in Edinburgh. A time for fun, a time for music and laughter, a time for national pride as the sun streams over our beautiful city and bathes the castle and gardens in a bright, uplifting light.

My friend has come to the rescue this month. Our challenge is to have breakfast 100 feet in the air on a platform held up by a crane overlooking the city.

Now, I'm not overly keen on heights. Glass lifts are not my thing, and standing on a clifftop invariably gives me a tingle in sensitive places and a temporary urge to jump off just to see what it would be like. I can't for the life of me understand the urge to throw oneself off a tall bridge with nothing more than a piece of elastic between me and the ground, and, as a former air hostess, jumping out of a plane voluntarily goes completely against my safety training.

So to be strapped into a seat (albeit a very comfy one) and hoisted one hundred feet in the air for breakfast gives a new meaning to a 'room with a view'.

Anyway, we arrived in plenty of time and joined the other twenty people who would be flying with us. The staff treated it as a proper flight, talking of boarding gates, departure times and take off. Normally I would be completely at home with these terms, except that I was standing in the shadow of a bloody great yellow crane with a cheerful driver giving us the thumbs up as we received our safety briefing.

We were led through the departure gate and one by one we climbed into our big black bucket seats and were strapped in. Straps over the shoulders, around the waist and through the legs. Even Houdini would have thought twice about this lot.

Or so I thought, until it occurred to me that underneath me was a small metal plate to rest my feet on and a whole lot of nothing else. Our chairs were literally sitting out from the table so that we would be suspended in thin air once we reached cruising level.

The countdown was made. The thumbs up given to the crane driver. And we were off. Rising slowly and steadily, over the treetops, over the church spires, getting nearer and nearer to the castle. At 100 feet, we came to a gentle stop and the staff served us breakfast from their floored rectangle in the middle of the table. While we ate, the guide told us some amusing stories from Edinburgh's rich history and pointed out the local landmarks, nonchalantly informing us that our seats could swivel if we were brave enough to give it a go.

I looked down, heart in mouth, took a deep breath and swivelled. I was aware of hanging in space, feet dangling, as the crane slowly rotated the table so we could see the views.

And suddenly I was aware of the peace and quiet. Of the birds singing. Of the rich red colours on the tops of the trees that weren't visible from the ground. Of the beautifully crafted facades on the buildings along Princes Street that you don't see when you are focused on heading for Boots or Debenhams.

The height meant nothing. But the thirty minutes we spent suspended above our majestic city was a wonderful reminder of how lucky we are to live here.

And I didn't feel like jumping off once!

I Dreamed A Dream

2010-06-21T20:51:00.002+01:00

Is there anything more joyous than singing your heart out with a group of talented, like-minded people?

My new experience for the month of June has fulfilled one of my longterm (and previously believed impossible) dreams ... to sing Les Miserables on stage. Not only did I achieve that on Saturday night but we were on stage with the Beyond The Barricades professionals.

It's quite incredible how challenges have begun to present themselves since January when I first decided to grab the bull by the horns and try out one new thing each month. It's true that when you focus on something and send your intention out into the universe, opportunities start to show up. My experiences started off quite tame but are becoming more challenging and out of the ordinary with each passing month (wait 'til you see the next couple...).

Over the last few years, as you will know if you have read some of my other posts, I have re-discovered my voice and a passion for performing. So when my friend and I read about the Les Miserables Masterclass taking place in the Alhambra Theatre in Dunfermline, we sent off our applications with a mixture of excitement and a large dose of trepidation.

After all, this was to be a masterclass in acting and performing the songs from Les Miserables with none other than Andy Reiss, a longterm cast member and director of the West End show, and co-creator of the Beyond The Barricades touring show. A masterclass from the master! Wow!

A few days before the workshop, we received pages of lyrics in the post and discovered that we would be singing the numbers on stage behind Andy and the Beyond The Barricades stars to a sell out audience that had paid full price tickets to see the Beyond The Barricades show.

Cue a panicky three days of trying to get the lyrics to sink in (it normally takes me a few weeks of rehearsal to be word perfect).

Saturday was incredible ... mindblowing ... extremely hard work ... and all too soon we were standing in the wings of the stage, awaiting our entrance music. And then it started. The lights dimmed to a red glow, the familiar haunting intro began and we walked onto the stage, nervous and excited. Andy nodded his head, we opened our mouths and the most incredible, beautiful, universal sound came out, word perfect, our well rehearsed harmonies resounding around the theatre. A wave of elation surged through me and the realisation hit me. My god, I was on stage singing songs from Les Miserables with the original cast members!

All too soon it was over, but Sunday was still to come.

On Sunday, Andy taught us how to stage two numbers. We worked on and performed At The End Of The Day in the factory where the girls find out that Fantine is hiding a child and have her sacked.

And then we staged One Day More - complete with marching!

There is a reason why Les Miserables is the most successful musical of all time. I challenge anyone to sing these songs without being swept along on a wave of emotion. It may be quite some time before I come down to earth!!

Thankfully I have time before my next challenge. In the meantime, you'll find me floating above the atmosphere.

"Earth calling Susan?" ....

How far will your burger fly?

2010-06-03T15:39:00.000+01:00

During my training with Richard Bandler, the co-creator of NLP, Richard told us the following story.

“A man in New York bought a burger from a street seller and was crossing the road eating it when a car knocked him down and killed him. His burger flew out of his hand at the moment of impact and landed about 30 yards further down the sidewalk. The next day, the newspaper article was all about how far his burger flew.”

Not about his life, his achievements, his contribution to society. About how his burger flew 30 yards!

Now, I don’t know about you, but I would hope that people would have something a bit more interesting to say about me when I’m gone.

Writing about this today reminds me of a workshop I attended last year with an amazing public speaker and corporate trainer called Richard Jacobs.

Richard has written a book called “What’s Your Purpose?”, and his workshop was designed to work through seven questions which lead to understanding your purpose in this lifetime.

One of the questions we worked through was “If there was one word that describes how you would most like to be remembered, and which would be etched on your tombstone forever more, what would that word be?

So, if you are interested, here is how you work it out.

You choose 7 words that best describe how you would like to be remembered and then you group together the words that instinctively go together. In my case I chose:

Gracious and caring

Inspirational, passionate and determined

Joyful and fun

You then choose one word to represent each group:

Compassionate

Inspirational

Joyful

The next step is to merge your 3 words to get one that says ‘Yes’ to you. Trust your instincts and ignore any cynicism or internal criticism you may encounter.

After a long deliberation trying out various words, I word I chose for myself was “Teacher”. I first thought of ‘Leader’, but ‘Teacher’ just somehow felt right.

Because in my role as a hypnotherapist and seminar speaker, I am teaching people all the time. Teaching them to listen to their inner voice, teaching them that they already have all the answers, and teaching them techniques to draw those answers out.

You test your word out by running it through your head. Ask yourself ‘How happy would I be if this were etched on my tombstone after my death?’ If the answer is 9 or 10 out of 10 this question is complete. If not, keep trying other words until you find a 9 or a 10.

Test it again.

‘Here lies (your name), “Teacher”. Rest In Peace’.

Once you have your final word, write it down in a little RIP tombstone sketch.

Remember that this process is about determining your values and aspirations. By choosing a word, you are not saying “This is the way I am all of the time, or even most of the time”. You are simply saying “This word stands for something which is important to me. I would love this word to be a constant theme in my life.”

I have a line I would like to add to it. Over my life so far I have had different jobs, been to many exciting places, met many wonderful people and had some truly incredible experiences. I hope to continue with more of the same, and so I would like to add to my epitaph the following phrase:-

A Life Well Lived!

Now THAT feels GOOD!

Magnificent May

2010-05-31T20:06:00.000+01:00

There's something about sunshine that just makes us feel better. That first sensation of warmth on your face, your skin, especially after a long, hard winter. It makes you pause just to drink it in and appreciate the wonder of nature.

Race For Life day (my challenge for this month) dawns exactly like this. A beautiful May morning, warm but with a slight nip to the air which would keep us cool whilst running ... or jogging ... or walking. Of course, I had intended to pitch up fit and fabulously healthy, ready to run 5km easily and effortlessly. But, in the intervening months since we booked our places, somehow my fitness plans have reduced to a couple of hours in the gym the week before.

And so we arrive at the magnificent Hopetoun House and follow the queue of cars winding through the estate to the makeshift carpark. We are four, but we have already agreed to split as necessary once the race starts and take it at our own pace.

We join the gathering at the front of the stately home, and I can't help but read the messages for loved ones pinned to everyone's backs. I feel unexpectedly touched by the poignancy of reading the long lists of people lost to cancer, and I briefly and surreptitiously wipe a tear away.

Thankfully there's not much time for deliberation as we launch into our warm up and all too soon it's time to race and we are through the starting gates and running. And what a great feeling it is! Running in a sea of pink tops, heads bobbing all around us. Two of our team pull away ahead but we are pacing ourselves. We run for a while and then slow to a walk once we are out of sight of the house. We keep a comfortable rhythm as we walk, jog, have a chat with the neighbours, and put the world to rights. We jog past the groups ahead of us and when we slow to a walk, those same people jog past us with a friendly wave.

We pass the one and two kilometre markers quickly. The 3km sign seems to be evading us until we round a bend at a run and there it is. Once we pass the 4km marker, we start to push ahead, watching our time to make sure we come in on target. We come round the house and all of a sudden the crowds are there. We run up to the last bend and then with a final effort come charging over the finish line feeling very pleased with ourselves.

Our fit friends have come in ten minutes earlier, but we are happy with our effort. And we feel fantastic for the rest of the day. There's nothing like a bit of exercise to get you going and leave you feeling fab. I just need to remember that next time I choose to watch last night's recorded TV over a workout at the gym......

Next year, we may do the 10km race. And we might even run it!

April Auditions

2010-04-22T14:07:00.000+01:00

"Be our guest, be our guest, put our service to the test...."

March 18th It's the pre-audition meeting for Balerno Theatre Company and we are learning the song and dance for the forthcoming auditions. This year's panto is Bonnie and The Beast (a Scottish version of Beauty and The Beast). The song presents no problems because it's one of my favourite numbers in the film, albeit with a change to the lyrics.

"No-one's ever been the wiser drinking Irn Bru and Tizer...."

The dance is a different game altogether. The youngsters pick it up first time whilst we 'slightly more mature' folk take a little longer to drum the choreography into our head.

For the next fortnight the song is going round my head constantly. I go to bed at night and can't sleep for running the dance over and over again in my mind. I wake up in the morning and the song is still there. I'm driving my family nuts with the constant repetition. My 10 year old son is word perfect and prompts me every time I forget the words.

Closer to audition day I realise that I will be auditioning on my birthday. It's tradition in our family that the birthday person wear the birthday hat, and for once this turns out to be fortuitous as it occurs to me that the hat looks like a cake with candles on top. I have found a prop for the dance!

March 30th. I turn up for the auditions hat in hand and the nerves and adrenaline kick in. I'm past the "Why am I doing this to myself?" as this is my fourth year in the company, but it doesn't make it any easier. In fact, I think it becomes more difficult because I expect more from myself. I have started to push myself.

This year I have taken on the onerous and almighty task of Producer so I haven't put my name down for a principal part, reckoning that the role of Producer will be big enough to cope with. I start to sing. I still want to do my best even though I'm not after a role. The nerves were there but I enjoyed it and we had fun running through the acting scenes.

The following day I get a phonecall to say I have a callback. What? Wait a minute! That's not in the plan.

April 1st (April Fools Day) Callbacks. We turn up and are given a completely new song that no one has ever heard of, and one by one we are put on the spot as we are asked to perform it to the group. Followed by more acting.

April 2nd The phone goes. Audrey the director is on the line and starts the conversation with "Mrs Potts, I presume!" I am speechless. Then I panic.

"How the h*** can I be producer and take on a big role like that? It is a big role, isn't it?

"Huge!" says Audrey with a giggle. "But you'll manage!"

They say if you want something done, ask a busy person. Call me. I'm open for business!

Ashes to Ashes

2010-04-22T12:54:00.000+01:00

As my friend writes on facebook...

"Is it too early to make volcanic jokes or should we wait 'til the dust settles?"

Mermaid or whale?

2010-03-29T12:56:00.001+01:00

This story was sent to me and I thought I would share it with you.

Recently, in a large city in Australia, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym.

It said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.

To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans.)

They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable baby whales.

They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp.

They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .

Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs.

They are incredible creatures and have virtually no predators other than humans.

They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.

If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human?

They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them. Not to mention, how could they have sex? Just look at them ... where is IT?

Therefore, they don't have kids either. Plus, who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me:

I want to be a whale.

P..S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends.

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy. We are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, ¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨

You've been warned!

2010-03-22T14:32:00.000Z

If I Had My Time To Live Over

2010-03-22T14:21:00.004Z

by Erma Bombeck

(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, 'Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.' There would have been more 'I love you's' More 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute. look at it and really see it . live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Go on - you know you want to!

2010-03-22T14:12:00.000Z

To friends

2010-03-22T14:10:00.000Z

Doh!

2010-03-22T14:08:00.000Z

Ouch!

2010-03-22T14:07:00.001Z

Ooh, Matron!

2010-03-22T14:05:00.000Z

In the beginning...

2010-03-17T22:03:00.001Z

God created the Earth and then he rested.

Then God created man and rested.

Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

Friends

2010-03-17T21:40:00.002Z

I first wrote this on my facebook page in February...

"I'm in a reflective mood today. Friends are coming up for the big 5 0 and I'm not far behind them. We don't feel 50. We feel the same as when we were galloping our horses over the fields at the age of 11, sharing a student flat at 18, or still partying hard in our 30's. Time means nothing. We look into each other's eyes and we share history. Today is my celebration of friendship. To my friends, old and new....."

Today I have a new BFF and we met through blogging. The nice thing is that, having got to know each other through our blogs, when we finally met, we felt as if we'd been friends forever because we already knew so much about each other.

I first contacted Sharon (Bookish Blonde ) when I was getting stuck with the layout of my blog and my web designer gave me her contact details to see if she could help.

She kindly responded to my pleas, but it was only after we started reading each other's blogs that we realised how much we had in common.

We live a couple of hours away from each other but we always knew we would meet up one day, and finally we did just that. And I can now proudly say this wonderful and inspirational woman has joined the ranks of 'people I most like to spend time with'.

They say that some people come into your life for a reason, and others for only a season. Some friends have come, served their purpose and moved on. Others are sticking it out for the duration. But whether friends are new or old, life is much better with them around!

To friendship!

I love blogging!

2010-03-17T20:37:00.003Z

I started my blog as a business aide. My web designer told me I should have a blog linked to my site to encourage the search engines to find me. I'm not normally terribly fond of spiders but I can handle virtual ones who crawl over my sites picking up relevant terminology.

So I started blogging. I wrote my profile and I started to write a couple of articles about hypnotherapy. And then slowly, as I continued to write, a proliferation of thoughts and emotions started to take over my waking hours. Sometimes about things I saw in the headlines. Perhaps about a book I was reading or a film I had watched. Often about events that had happened in my past.

I would be sitting on a bus and a title would come to me, quickly followed by prose that I felt compelled to write down there and then.

Or I would wake at three in the morning and have to write down the words that were swirling around my head.

I took to carrying a notebook and pen at all times. And I soon found myself writing about things that were pretty personal, which, surprisingly enough, proved to be the most satisfying and cathartic articles to write. Are they a bit too personal at times? You tell me. But once my friends started taking me aside and telling me how a particular blog had uplifted them or changed their thinking that day, I decided to carry on weaving my personal experiences into my stories.

I now have a notebook full of ideas for blog articles. Some of them are only titles, some are quotes I've heard, many are notes jotted down at random.

For a long time I have harboured the desire to write a book. One day I may well look back and see that blogging was my apprenticeship to becoming an author.

For now, I'm off to the cafe in downtown Edinburgh where J K Rowling used to write her books (actually I hear she has now moved on to the OneSpa at the Balmoral Hotel, but the cakes are better in the caf and the sauna would only make my paper soggy!)

Time

2010-03-04T21:26:00.003Z

Time is priceless

yet it costs us nothing.

You can do anything you want with it,

but you can't own it.

You can spend it,

but you can't keep it.

And once you've lost it

there's no getting it back.

It's just gone.

The immortal words of Hannah Montana, adapted from the original by Harvey Mackay.

March madness

2010-03-04T13:44:00.002Z

The saying goes "March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb".

True to its word, this is only 4th March and already I have been to the ballet on Tuesday and a book signing on Wednesday. More stuff that I wouldn't normally do!

When I was nine, I was going to be a ballet dancer. I went to see Coppelia with my ballet class and sat enthralled in the front row, gazing up at the sylph-like ballerinas in their beautiful costumes.

Mind you, I was also going to be a Black & White Minstrel. My parents took me to see the show in London and I was delighted to see that the lead dancer Margaret Savage had sticky out shoulder blades just like me. I was in the club! Nothing was going to stop me now.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoYOraDt1_k

In hindsight, with the advent of political correctness, the Black & White Minstrel show would not have been a good career move!

Anyway the years passed and ballet gave way to horses, and boys and college and I forgot all about my dream of being a ballerina.

Until last week, when I was clearing out some clothes in the loft and I found my old ballet tutus in a suitcase. Still in perfect condition, the sequins sewn on by hand by my extremely patient mother still dancing and dazzling in the light.

Giselle by The Russian State Ballet of Siberia

And later that day, I heard that the ballet was coming to town. I booked my ticket and on Tuesday evening I sat enthralled, in the fourth row, gazing up at the sylph-like ballerinas in their beautiful costumes. And as I watched them dance, I could feel the muscles in my body reliving each and every movement with the ease and grace of my younger years. And it felt good!

Sometimes it's good to remind yourself of past dreams.

Creating Moments

2010-03-04T11:36:00.009Z

You can create moments in your life or you can hope they show up once in a while - Tony Robbins

I made the decision in February to do something different and give myself a new experience every month. To seize the day, as it were.

I was prompted to do this when I attended the opening of my sister-in-law's exhibition at the Talbot Rice Gallery in Edinburgh. The exhibition had attracted a lot of media attention because the main star of the attraction was the bronze cast of a "flayed man" which has been used by Edinburgh College of Art as an anatomical teaching tool. After twenty years of drawing this unidentified man both as a student and a lecturer, Joan got together with an anthropologist and a photographer and set about discovering his true identity. The full story can be read in the
Scotsman article The Art Of Anatomy
but to cut a long story short, the man was a highwayman hung for robbing gentry in 1776, and because he had been a soldier and was a fine specimen of a man, his body was flayed and a cast made to be used in teaching anatomy.

The exhibition was fascinating and I noticed in the programme that Joan was holding an art class the following Saturday for people who wished to understand more about anatomy and the art of drawing the human body.

Now, I am useless at drawing. Not just bad, but useless. At school, people laughed at my efforts and I quickly took on the label of "I'm not creative".

Actually, many years later, I decided that I am creative. I can sing and dance, I speak four languages, I can put promotional material together and I can write (to a certain extent). But I can't draw.

So I gaily recruited a friend (who can draw) to go along with me and we turned up at the gallery raring to go. Joan told us the background of the cast, and talked us through the anatomy, pointing out the different textures and directions of the muscles, the tendons, the facial characteristics.

We sat on our stools and got drawing. And it was fantastic. Peaceful. Joyful. Creative. And Liberating. Because, whilst my effort was more Hooch than Turner, my attempt wasn't half bad.

I finally shook off my 'I can't draw' label that I have been carrying around for the best part of forty years. And I enjoyed it so much that I returned in the school holiday week with two friends and our four children, ranging in ages from 7 to 13, and we all spent a focused couple of hours totally lost in the moment. Just drawing.

Click on photos to enlarge
It was unanimously voted as the best activity we had done that week.
So February's new experience was drawing. Now I have to set my sights on March.

Lives of quiet desperation

2010-02-24T12:13:00.014Z

I'm having a wallowing day today. Maybe it's because of the snow (five inches already and it's only 11.30am), or maybe it's just that I'm having an off day.

Last night I watched the incredibly thought provoking film Revolutionary Road and was reminded of Henry David Thoreau's quote "Most people live lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with their song still in them".

It's this hopeless emptiness that is portrayed in the film, and it's done so with the same raw emotion and sense of desperation that so many of us have felt at some time in our lives.

Other times, like today, you get up in the morning and nothing is wrong but nothing is particularly right either.

As Barry Manilow sings:-

"I'm doing okay, but not very well.
No jolts, no surprises, no crisis arises,
my life goes along as it should,
it's all very nice but not very good"

Every now and then I have these moments, and it's in these times of quiet evaluation and introspection that change usually happens.

Because in many ways I am singing my song these days. Metaphorically and physically. I love what I do, I have a wonderful family and some great friends, both new and old. And our all singing all dancing auditions for this year's pantomime by the Balerno Theatre Company kick off next month.

So it's time for me to start singing once again. To look to the future, because as George Burns once said, "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life".

But not today. Today is for wallowing. And for listening to Barry.

More about Balerno Theatre Company

My Next Life by Woody Allen

2010-02-18T15:36:00.001Z

Why did Moses spend 40 years

2010-02-15T11:53:00.004Z

wandering in the desert?

He refused to ask for directions.

And all because the lady loves ...

2010-02-15T11:10:00.003Z

To prove his love for her, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean, and crossed the widest desert.

But she left him - he was never home.

Extracted from Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps

The power of storytelling

2010-02-12T00:29:00.001Z

Stories are our best way of learning.

Why?

Because your unconscious mind identifies with the main character and assumes 'he must be talking to me'.

That's why we use metaphors in hypnosis.

That's why children learn so quickly through song and the art of storytelling.

Like all renowned public speakers, Richard Bandler (the co creater of Neuro Linguistic Programming and one of the top hypnotists in the world) is a master storyteller. You think he's rambling and going off on a tangent but in fact he's drawing you further and further into the story and giving you embedded commands along the way.

The best comedians do the same thing. They will always come back to the punchline in the end.

For the initiated amongst us, this practice is called Nested Loops.

When I trained with Paul McKenna and Richard Bandler, they told us, "Don't take any notes. You're in this room for the next seven (and subsequently, nine) days with the three top hypnotists in the world. You WILL learn!"

And learn we did. For that period of time we were immersed in story telling - true stories, fairy tales, I once knew a man who....

So next time you want your child to learn something, try weaving it into a story.

Man who waits for roast duck

2010-02-11T13:15:00.002Z

to fly into mouth must wait very, very long time

Chinese Proverb

Who's been kicking your cat?

2010-02-11T12:58:00.003Z

Mr B called a meeting one day and told all of his people that the company was doing well but could be doing a lot better, and he felt he hadn’t been pulling his weight. From now on he would be there early and stay late. He’d take short coffee and lunch breaks. He’d be focused and available. He would set an example and he expected everyone else to follow his lead.

It was an inspiring speech. And he really intended to do all of it.

A couple of weeks later he was at the country club for lunch and forgot the time. Realising he was going to be late back to the office he jumped in his car and sped down the road doing 90 miles an hour. He was stopped by the police and given a speeding ticket and he drove to the office fuming. “Why aren’t they out catching criminals instead of picking on me? They should leave us peaceful tax paying citizens alone!”

He got into the office still furious and called in his sales manager.” What’s happening with the new account? You should have closed it a dozen times by now. You’ve been the sales manager here for 16 years but that doesn’t mean you’ve got a lifetime contract. If you can’t do it, let me tell you I’ll get someone who can.”

Oh, Mr B was upset.

But if you think he was upset, you should have seen that sales manager.

He was furious. Why, he’d worked for this company for 16 years, brought in all this business, and kept the place going. If it hadn’t been for him the company would have gone bankrupt years ago.

He called his secretary. “What’s happening with the account?”

She replied that she’d been working on three or four other things that he had told her took precedent.

“Don’t give me excuses!” he raged. “I want the account taken care of, and those letters sent out today. Just because you’ve worked here for eight years doesn’t mean you’ve got a lifetime contract. If you can’t do it, let me tell you I’ll get someone who can.”

He was really upset.

But if you think he was upset, you should have seen that secretary.

“Why, I’ve worked here for eight years, kept this place running. If it weren’t for me the company would have gone bankrupt years ago. Who does he think he’s kidding, replace me?”

The secretary went to the switchboard operator. “Look, I know it’s not normally your job but I’m telling you right now these letters have to go out tonight and you’ll have to do them. You just sit around here doing nothing all day anyway. Just because you’ve worked here for ten years doesn’t mean you’ve got a lifetime contract. If you can’t do it, let me tell you I’ll get someone who can.”

Oh she was upset alright.

But you think she was upset, you should have seen that switchboard operator.

“Why I’m the glue that holds this company together. If it weren’t for me this company would have gone down the tube years ago. I’m worked to death out here and they’re sitting around drinking coffee and gossiping all day. And then they dump their stuff on me.”

She was furious.

She got home and the first thing she saw was her 12 year old son lying on the floor watching TV with a big rip in his trousers. “I thought I told you to change as soon as you get home. Have you done your homework? No? That’s it. No supper for you and no TV for a month.”

Oh she was upset.

But if you think she was upset, you should have seen her son.

“Why, here I am minding my own business and she takes her bad mood out on me. Why can’t she pick on someone else for a change? It was an accident. I didn’t mean to rip my trouser but she’s not even given me the chance to explain.”

He was mad.

And about that time, his cat walked in front of him.

Big mistake.

He swung his foot at the cat.

“You’ve probably been up to no good yourself.”

****

So folks, let me ask you.

Wouldn’t it have been better if Mr B had gone directly from the country club to that switch operator’s house and kicked that cat himself?

Ask yourself...

Whose cat have I been kicking today?
Or who’s been kicking my cat?

Next time someone peeps their horn at you the minute the traffic light changes to green, or your partner jumps down your throat the minute they walk in the door, or someone in a customer service post snaps at you and says “Can’t you see I’m busy?”, just remember It’s not your fault.

It’s just that someone has been kicking their cat!

(Paraphrased by yours truly from the book and audio self help program See You At The Top by Zig Ziglar)

How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body

2010-02-11T11:45:00.010Z

Every now and then a book comes along that has the potential to change your life.

'How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body' by scientist Dr David Hamilton is one of those books.

But before I tell you more, let me tell you a story.

Neil* is 35 years old (name changed for confidentiality purposes). For eleven years he has suffered from chronic arthritis. He is overweight and walks with difficulty with a stick. His hands are twisted and painful. He comes to see me for hypnosis, willing to try anything to alleviate his pain.

When he arrives, he manages with difficulty to mount the steps up to my front door, and comes into the house out of breath and holding onto the doorframe for support.

We talk through what's going on in his life and it emerges that he has had a difficult childhood as an adopted child, in particular with his father, who is incapable of showing him love.

He is holding on to many painful memories and we take time to work through these and release them one by one using Mind Detox and tapping techniques (read 'TFT - tapping your problems away' article for more information).

I then use a technique called Quantum Field Healing, taught to me by Dr David Hamilton himself. QFH is a visualisation process where you imagine going into your body through all the layers. Through the cells(resembling a stone in a dry stane dyke, into the DNA (twisted strands of spaghetti), into the atoms and sub atomic particles until you reach your source, which looks like a starry night sky. You then ask to see the vibrations of your illness and you work through a number of steps to clear the illness.

At the end of the session, Neil* opens his eyes, flexes his fingers and says "No pain!"

He walks out my house standing straighter than before and without thinking, bends down at the doorway to pick up the mail, a feat which would have been impossible before the session. He doesn't even realise what he's done. I point it out to him and he says a simple "Wow!"

On days like this I really love my job!

I have been fortunate to attend a number of workshops with David, and the one thing that comes across is how normal, how likeable and how amusing David is. He's a cross between a modern day David Attenborough and a clean language Billy Connolly, and it also helps that he's rather nice to look at, which explains the large number of women attendees at his events.

In my other blog article 'The Mind Body connection' I explain how David got to where he is today. Today he is a respected author and internationally renowned speaker from the Hay House stable. But he's still David. Funny, informative and captivating.

But I digress.

'How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body' is a book for everyone.

The first section is jammed packed with the scientific evidence behind people who have healed themselves using visualisation techniques. But although full of scientific content, it is an enjoyable read, written, as David says, "so that even my Auntie Jean can understand it".

The second section contains true life stories from people who have cured themselves of everything from cancer to heart disease and makes for fascinating reading.

The final section is a step by step description of the techniques and visualisations used. An A to Z from Acne, Ageing, Allergies, Cancer, Depression, Low Self Esteem, Parkinsons, Stress and Weight Loss to name but a few.

David also explains the Quantum Field Healing technique which I demonstrated at the start of this article and again walks you through the entire process.

Many people have changed their lives with this book.

I recommend that people of all ages read it for a better understanding of how their mind and body work and how they really can use the power of their mind to heal their body.

Watch this clip to hear David explain how it works.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YFUmYVtXxA

Incidentally, David is launching his new book "Why Kindness is Good for You" on Thursday February 25th in Glasgow.

He also has a number of workshops coming up throughout the country, so no matter where you are, he'll be coming to a place near you.

Check out his website for more information.

What label are you wearing?

2010-02-10T13:29:00.007Z

Sometimes a lack of self confidence can date back to our childhood.

For some, it may be as simple as a label someone gave you. When introducing you to others, your parents may have said “This is my son. He’s the quiet one in the family.” If you heard that often enough, chances are you took on that label and became the quiet one. Or a school teacher may have said you were no good at art because you drew a tree different to hers and now if someone asks for your creative input, you’ll automatically say “But I’m no good at art”.

The following story, extracted from Chicken Soup For The Soul, says it all.....

The Little Boy

Once a little boy went to school.
He was quite a little boy.
And it was quite a big school.
But when the little boy

Found that he could go to his room

By walking right in from the door outside,

He was happy.

And the school did not seem

Quite so big any more.

One morning,

When the little boy had been in school a while,

The teacher said:

"Today we are going to make a picture."

"Good!" thought the little boy.

He liked to make pictures.

He could make all kinds:

Lions and tigers,

Chickens and cows,

Trains and boats -

And he took out his box of crayons

And began to draw.

But the teacher said:

"Wait! It is not time to begin!"

And she waited until everyone looked ready.

"Now" said the teacher,

"We are going to make flowers."

"Good!" thought the little boy.

He liked to make flowers,

And he began to make beautiful ones

With his pink and orange and blue crayons.

But the teacher said,

"Wait! And I will show you how."

And she drew a flower on the blackboard.

It was red, with a green stem.

"There," said the teacher.

"Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at the teacher's flower.

Then he looked at his own flower.

He liked his flower better than the teacher's.

But he did not say this,

He just turned his paper over

And made a flower like the teacher's.

It was red, with a green stem.

On another day,

When the little boy had opened

The door from outside all by himself,

The teacher said,

"Today we are going to make something with clay."

"Good!" thought the little boy.

He liked clay.

He could make all kinds of things with clay:

Snakes and snowmen,

Elephants and mice,

Cars and trucks -

And he began to pull and pinch

His ball of clay.

But the teacher said,

"Wait! It is not time to begin!"

And she waited until everyone looked ready.

"Now," said the teacher,

"We are going to make a dish."

"Good!" thought the little boy,

He liked to make dishes,

And he began to make some

That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said,

"Wait! And I will show you how."

And she showed everyone how to make

One deep dish.

"There," said the teacher, "Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at his teacher's dish

Then he looked at his own.

He liked his dishes better than the teacher's

But he did not say this,

He just rolled his clay into a big ball again,

And made a dish like the teacher's.

It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon

The little boy learned to wait

And to watch,

And to make things just like the teacher.

And pretty soon

He didn't make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened

That the little boy and his family

Moved to another house,

In another city,

And the little boy

Had to go to another school.

This school was even Bigger

Than the other one,

And there was no door from the outside

Into his room.

He had to go up some big steps,

And walk down a long hall

To get to his room.

And the very first day

He was there, the teacher said,

"Today we are going to make a picture."

"Good!" thought the little boy,

And he waited for the teacher

To tell him what to do.

But the teacher didn't say anything.

She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy,

She said, "Don't you want to make a picture?"

"Yes," said the little boy.

"What are we going to make?"

"I don't know until you make it," said the teacher.

"How shall I make it?" asked the little boy.

"Why, any way you like," said the teacher.

"And any colour?" asked the boy.

"Any colour," said the teacher,

"If everyone made the same picture,

And used the same colours,

How would I know who made what,

And which was which?"

"I don't know," said the little boy.

And he began to make pink and orange and blue flowers.

He liked his new school,

Even if it didn't have a door

Right in from the outside!

- Helen E. Buckley

Just for today - ditch your old labels, release your limiting beliefs, believe in your abilities and get out there and draw the flowers!

How many minutes have you taken for yourself today?

2010-02-07T22:00:00.003Z

*
It's official. Superwoman is dead!

Not from overwork or stress related illness, but apparently from apathy. According to a recent report, we just don’t care about being perfect anymore!

So why do I still feel guilty most of the time? Guilty if my husband doesn’t have a clean shirt to wear (couldn’t he have told me his stash of shirts were about to stage a coup in the laundry basket); guilty when I don’t cook from scratch; guilty when I have to arrange a play date to cover my work date; guilty that I don’t have a fresh batch of muffins in the oven (okay, that’s never going to happen).

The English language is designed to make us feel bad about taking time for ourselves. Steal a moment? Robbed of time? A quick cuppa (is there such a thing?).

Most women I know never take a moment for themselves. We seem to be on an endless quest of cleaning, tidying, cooking, tidying, ironing, tidying...and yet my house still looks a mess! Add work and work related activities to this maelstrom and it’s no wonder that we barely sit down from dawn till dusk.

So what would happen if we took the time to ‘just be’? Would the sun fall out the sky, would the waves refuse to come up the shore, would the whole world stop turning?

Of course not. So is there any harm in putting our own world on hold for a little while?

Actually, we do our best work when we take the time to ‘just be’. It’s in moments of peace that inspiration comes to us. If we quieten our mind then the unconscious has an opportunity to bring to the fore the answers we’ve been looking for and the tasks that we should give more importance too.

Sometimes, it’s a case of taking some time off, in the words of Colin Firth in Mamma Mia, “quite spontaneously” ...

(read my blog article ‘Sitting waiting for inspiration’)

So if you get a call from a friend inviting you round for a quick cuppa then GO. I know there’s no quick cuppa but what’s the worst that can happen if your husband doesn’t have a clean shirt for tomorrow or the family have to eat takeout for a change?

Spontaneity and time out are my gift to you today.

And if your other half gets on to you, teach him how to work the washing machine.

One For The Girls

2010-02-07T18:23:00.003Z

Do you promise to love, honour, clean up after, cook meals for, live with foul smelling farts, give away your share of the bed cover, give up control of the remote and wipe pee from the toilet for all the days of your life?

One For The Boys

2010-02-07T18:10:00.004Z

Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him.

She said “No!” and so he lived happily ever after, played golf a lot, drank beer, went fishing and farted whenever he wanted.

Body Image – men versus women

2010-02-07T17:09:00.003Z

My husband (god love him) gets up in the morning, stands in front of the mirror, sucks in his stomach, puts his arms in a bodybuilder pose and says “My god, I’m handsome”. Not to me or anyone else, but to himself.

I get up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror and immediately notice all my faults, reciting them in my head as my eyes travel down my reflection.

Which one of us is going to start the day in the right frame of mind?

It’s not about being self centred. It’s about being kind to yourself and focusing on the positive. Do you think I speak nicely to myself when I’m taking in all my bad points? Of course not. If anyone else spoke to me in that tone I’d either be very hurt or I’d tell them where to go. And yet, we mentally beat ourselves up all the time for not being good enough, not being smart enough, not being thin enough…

My son has recently taken up rock climbing at the indoor centre in Ratho and during one of his first classes I bumped into an old boss of mine whose son, it turned out, was also climbing. I happened to mention that I fancied a shot myself, and my boss volunteered to meet me the following week and teach me the ropes so to speak.

So I duly turned up and got myself kitted out with shoes, harness etc. It was only on the walk down to the arena that it struck me. Not only was my boss going to have to hold my weight on the end of the rope (no mean feat) but he would also be seeing me from a completely different angle than he had ever seen me before.

Bridget Jones sliding down the fireman’s pole came into mind.

Oh my god! Had it occurred to him that he was about to study my posterior from angles you would only expect to see in the most intimate of situations? It didn’t seem to have registered with him as he quite matter-of-factly got down to demonstrating how to tie the knots and got me climbing the first few feet of the wall. Or if it did he was gentleman enough not to mention it. Nor did I hear him grunt when he took my weight on the abseil.

Yes, men definitely look at things differently from us.

Take showering for example.

How to shower like a woman

1. Take off clothing and place it in a sectioned laundry hamper according to lights, darks, whites, man-made or natural.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
3. Look at womanly physique in the mirror and stick out belly.
4. Complain about getting fat.
5. Get in shower.
6. Look for facecloth, body cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash hair once with cucumber and avocado shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
8. Wash hair again with cucumber and avocado shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
9. Condition hair with cucumber and avocado conditioner with enhanced natural orange-blossom oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
10. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
11. Wash rest of body with ginger-nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
12. Rinse hair, taking at least 15 minutes to make sure that conditioner is all off.
13. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
14. Scream loudly when husband flushes toilet and water loses pressure and goes red hot.
15. Turn off shower.
16. Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
17. Spray mould spots with Exit Mould.
18. Get out of shower.
19. Dry with towel the size of small African country.
20. Wrap hair in super-absorbent second towel.
21. Check entire body for remotest signs of spots. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
22. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown. Spend one hour and a half getting dressed.

How to shower like a man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If wife seen along the way, shake penis at her, making the “woo-woo” sound.
3. Look at manly physique and suck in gut. Admire size of penis and scratch butt.
4. Get in shower.
5. Don’t bother to look for washcloth.
6. Wash face.
7. Wash armpits.
8. Blow nose in hands, then let water rinse it off.
9. Crack up at how loud farts sound in shower.
10. Majority of time is spent washing privates and surrounding area.
11. Wash butt, leaving butt hairs on the soap bar.
12. Shampoo hair. (Do not use conditioner.)
13. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at self in mirror again.
15. Pee in shower, aiming for the drainage hole.
16. Rinse off and get out of shower. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain hanging out of tub the whole time.
17. Partially dry off.
18. Look in mirror. Flex muscles. Admire penis size again.
19. Leave shower curtain open, wet bathmat on floor, fan and light on.
20. Return to bedroom with towel round waist. Pull off towel, shake penis at wife, go “Yeah, baby,” and thrust pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on bed. Put on yesterday’s clothes.

I rest my case!

Anyway, I caught the bug, took a climbing course and am now licensed to view my boss's posterior from any angle. Retribution.

I'm also hoping that the exercise will take my bum from

(How to shower… extracted from Why Men Want Sex & Women Need Love)

The Mind Body Connection

2010-01-26T15:19:00.001Z

Why do we blush when we are embarrassed?

Why do we salivate when we think of our favourite food?

Why do we produce tears when feeling emotions of sadness or joy?

It's all down to the Mind Body Connection. Author, international speaker and scientist Dr David Hamilton writes about the mind body connection in his fascinating and highly entertaining book "It's The Thought That Counts".

David became interested in the connection between the mind and the body whilst working as a pharmaceutical scientist testing the new drugs on the market. He was amazed to see that, where the control group taking the tested drug reported an improvement in their condition by, say, 75%, the group taking the placebo pills, which were nothing more than sugar pills, would report a 67% improvement, although they had been given no drugs whatsoever. Full of excitement, David would point this out to his colleagues only to be told indifferently "Yeah, that's the Placebo effect". No-one seemed to be interested in finding out why the placebo effect was producing such incredible results, and so David began to research how the mind and emotions can influence the wellbeing of our body.

Through his research, he also looked into the Mind Body World connection and he uses many stories in his book to demonstrate this.

Examples of the Mind Body World connection are:-

You think of a friend, the phone rings and it's them

A group of female friends who find their periods synchronise and they all get their periods at the same time every month

The effects of the full moon. Many hospitals bring in extra A&E staff over the full moon period to cope with the increased number of accidents

A room full of pendulum clocks all swinging at different times will eventually align and swing in time

Similarly, a tuning fork will inspire nearby tuning forks to vibrate at the same speed

In the same way, positive thinking can cause all the organs of the body to sing to the same tune, bringing balance and harmony to your body. And I'm sure you will have noticed that, when you are feeling positive, people sing to the same tune as you and your whole life tends to becomes more balanced and harmonious.

Of course, when you are going through a negative phase, the opposite is true. Everything seem to be against you. How is it that, when you are stressed and in a hurry, the learner driver always pulls out in front of you and is inevitably going your way? That you choose the slowest queue in the supermarket? That the person in front of you at the bank is always paying a million bills and asking for change?

It's no coincidence. We are what we think. And what we think affects our body.

Most of us have felt stress at some point in our lives. Stress starts as a negative thought and often turns into very real symptoms - headaches, tight shoulders, stomach pain, irritable bowels, shallow breathing.

You just have to imagine walking down a dark, lonely road at night. Suddenly you realise you are not alone. The sound of footsteps is getting closer and you can hear someone breathing behind you. Thinking of this is enough to get your heart pumping harder and your adrenalin preparing for fight or flight. This is why horror movies are so popular. Some of the best ones never actually show the violence; they prey on your imagination. Silence Of the Lambs is a perfect example.

Why am I telling you about the Mind Body Connection?

Because you can use it to your advantage. By using the power of positive thought, you can literally alter your DNA, heal your body and attract a better life. You can make things happen. You can run your own movie and decide on the ending. It's up to you whether you go for the happy ending or the sad one.

What's your song?

2009-11-03T13:13:00.005Z

I was watching the rerun of WALL.E with my son the other day and spent the rest of the day singing the songs from Hello Dolly that form the soundtrack to much of the movie.

How many times do you listen to the radio in the car or leave the house in the morning and end up having the last song you heard play over, and over, and over, and over, in your mind.

I have always been interested in music and can map out the events of my life by song. My ipod library is pretty eclectic these days, and I love it that so many songs of my youth have now been released as MP3s.

So, my question to you is? What would the soundtrack to your life be? If you could pick one or two songs that give you the oomph factor, what would they be?

I have three songs running at the moment which I call on at different times to give me the push I need.

When I need extra kick ass confidence, it's always Jennifer Lopez's Ain't It Funny Remix.

Some people find this a strange choice, but it's more to do with her "nobody messes with me" sassy attitude in the vid than to do with the message in the song. That beat in my head makes me walk down the road with my head held high, my shoulders back, looking as if I have a great secret that nobody will ever know but everyone would love to find out.

When I'm in need of inner confidence, it has to be Joe Cocker's You Are So Beautiful. It's a message to myself that I can do and be anything I choose, if I just believe in myself.

And where would I be without Barbra Streisand's "Before The Parade Passes By". The message in the song and the build up in tempo from the start makes me feel like going out and conquering the world. For too long I held myself back, but not anymore.

So what's your song? What would make you get out of bed in the morning and have a really good day? What would give you drive and determination? What truly inspires you?

Let me know.

Hypnotherapy - one of the secrets of my success

2009-10-30T23:37:00.001Z

Don't tell anyone, but I have a trick up my sleeve when I'm in a hypnotherapy session.

I use a hypnokit and headphones when talking to you for the hypno bit. The kit allows me to simultaneously channel my voice into your unconscious, play you beautiful music, and cut out background noise for a deeper and more enjoyable relaxation.

I can also record a session which can then be transferred to disc in a couple of minutes.

Clever, or what?

Who would have thought that I, of all people, would become such a techie? Okay, maybe my avid viewing of The Gadget Show each week might give that away, and I am "she who is in charge of updating all ipods in the household", but I still can't read a map without having to turn it in the direction in which we are going (actually that's another story and one that's coming to a blog near you very soon!). Nor can I fix the spacing on my blog when it looks okay on the preview and takes on a life of its own when published (see the word "transferred" above as an example).

So there you are. My hypnokit. Always wanted one of those USP thingies! (I am of course referring to a Unique Selling Point, as opposed to Unbelievably Stupid Person who cannot sort her own blog).

Tuesday's sunset

2009-10-30T23:08:00.001Z

I was walking through the house on Tuesday afternoon when the sunset caught my eye through the lounge window.

I'd been feeling sorry for myself, having just returned from a week of glorious sunshine in Mallorca, but the sight of that beautiful sunset lifted my spirits and a sensation of peace flooded through me.

Sometimes nature is the best reminder of the good things we have in our lives.

Is there no fun left in this world?

2009-10-30T22:42:00.002Z

Why are married women usually heavier than single women?

2009-10-29T15:21:00.002Z

"Because single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge."

Just loving this book "Why Men Want To Have Sex & Women Need Love".

Wally's Story

2009-10-08T17:25:00.004+01:00

This inspirational story was told by Wayne Dyer at the I Can Do It conference in London a couple of weeks ago.

'No one can make you serve customers well. That’s because great service is a choice.'

Harvey Mackay tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.

He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .

He handed me a laminated card and said: ‘I’m Wally, your driver. While I’m loading your bags in the trunk I’d like you to read my mission statement.’

Taken aback, Harvey read the card. It said:

Wally’s Mission Statement:
To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!

As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, ‘Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.’

Harvey said jokingly, ‘No, I’d prefer a soft drink.’

Wally smiled and said, ‘No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice.’

Almost stuttering, Harvey said, ‘I’ll take a Diet Coke.’

Handing him his drink, Wally said, ‘If you’d like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.’

As they were pulling away, Wally handed me another laminated card. ‘These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you’d like to listen to the radio.’

And as if that weren’t enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he’d be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.

‘Tell me, Wally,’ Harvey asked the driver, ‘Have you always served customers like this?’

Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. ‘No, not always. In fact, it’s only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.

He had just written a book called You’ll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you’ll rarely disappoint yourself. He said:-

"Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don’t be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain.Eagles soar above the crowd."

'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'

‘I take it that has paid off for you,’ Harvey said.

‘It sure has,’ Wally replied. ‘My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I’ll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don’t sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can’t pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.’

Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I’ve probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn’t do any of what I was suggesting.

Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.

I thought this story was truly inspirational.

Ask yourself, what do you choose to be? A duck or an eagle? Do you quack or do you soar?

Relationship tales

2009-10-07T16:48:00.001+01:00

"Shall we try swapping positions tonight?" he smirked.
"Great idea!" she replied.
"You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the sofa and fart!"

Extracted from the book Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love by Allan Pease.

Air On A G-String

2009-10-07T14:10:00.002+01:00

I was watching the underwear fashion section on GMTV this morning and it got me thinking that you can tell a lot about a woman from the type of knickers she wears.

Ask yourself, are you a "thong" or a "Bridget Jones Granny Pants" type of gal?

Personally, I think we all have a little naughtiness tucked away in our drawers (chest of drawers, that is) as well as the old grey baggies that are never intended to see the light of day. And our choice of the day depends on which period of our life we are in.

I was once very much in the G-String category. Of the "Does she wear it, or floss with it?" variety! The smaller the better as far as I was concerned. Maybe it was an air hostess thing, flying to all those hot countries, but I certainly liked to feel the breeze (totally understand the boxers v jockeys, guys). Or maybe it all came down to comfort. The lighter the thong, the better.

These days I am more into smoothing the lumps and bumps and a new type of comfort which comes from the knowledge that nothing is getting past these babies! My M&S magic knickers, in a fetching shade of beige, are never far from reach, my security blanket against the world. Would I swap them for a bejewelled all singing, all dancing miniscule thong? Not on my life!

There are obviously a lot of women out there exactly like me, because the range of magic knickers is getting bigger (or should I say more extensive) by the day. In fact they are taking underwear departments by storm. Where once the 'control garments' were tucked away in a quiet corner, these days the store mannequins wear their industrial strength underwear centre stage, standing on their podiums with pride, hand on hip with a "Come and get me, boys - if you dare!" sneer on their lips.

So this morning came the answer to all our dreams. Ladies, I give you the new frontier.

M&S have brought out a new style of magic knicker, with seductive lace panelling down the sides and a sexy zip down the front. It's now called Shapewear.

Bridget Jones, eat your heart out!

Look How Far You've Come

2009-03-27T15:52:00.005Z

February 2009

We arrive at Geneva Airport and find our transport for the slopes. The minibus pulls out of the airport, crosses the border into France and begins to wind its way up into the mountains.

The driver leans over and switches on the radio. He tunes into a local French station and the haunting strains of Dire Straits drift over me and wrap me in a warm blanket of familiarity.

“These mist covered mountains..."

I gaze out the window at the snow topped mountains, the peaks barely visible for the mist rolling in.

I sit back and daydream.

It’s November 1995. I’m gazing out the window of the Neilson’s Ski Holidays coach that’s taking the reps and ski guides over to the mountains for the winter season. We are all headed for different resorts but for now we are all together, some chatting, some sleeping, some sitting quietly thinking of the months to come.

It’s eight months since I asked for a job whilst on a skiing holiday with friends in Isola 2000. And pure luck that I found myself in a bubble lift face to face with the head man of Neilson’s. Sometimes you have to give life a little push and seize the opportunity – after all, no-one’s going to do it for you.

Someone hands a cassette to the Neilson’s driver. Brothers In Arms – Dire Straits. The haunting melody fills the coach and we all fall silent in awe at our first view of the distant mountains.

“These mist covered mountains...”

Suddenly it was worth the hassle of getting from Edinburgh to Luton (no Easyjet in those days), getting kitted out with uniforms and then piling onto a coach with all our worldly belongings to make a long and uncomfortable journey through the night across the channel and down through France into Switzerland.

It was the start of six magical months as a ski rep. In my case, in Verbier, playground to the rich and famous.

Verbier wasn’t without its challenges. In those days it was up to us to devise our own après ski programme (and make a decent profit for the company). Verbier was rich, standoffish,and not interested in rowdy ski parties. However, little by little I broke down the barriers and the locals let me in on their world (or part of it at least).

I didn’t ski every day. Funny how, when you have it on your doorstep, you can take it or leave it. And with Verbier being a top class resort, I was always aware of just how good a lot of the skiers were. It was made worse by the fact my uniform had “The No 1 Name In Skiing” in very distinctive colours emblazoned across the back, and I always felt I should be tackling an icy mogul field or be waist deep in fresh powder rather than doing a sedate “sort of parallel” descent down an intermediate run.

But bit by bit my skiing improved and in the ensuing years, long after hanging up my rep’s clipboard and microphone, I enjoyed many a ski holiday with friends.

And then one day I got married, had a son, and my skis lay cocooned in their ski bag gathering dust in the rafters of the garage. My boot bag sat in a dusty corner, buried under the junk amassed over what seemed like a lifetime of hoarding.

I was once so proud of my beautiful skis. 190’s.Long, sleek and slender, the length displaying to the world that I knew what I was doing. A badge of honour carried over my shoulder.

I had chosen them carefully during a ski test on an Austrian glacier one May, where I had the pick of the new skis for that season. I had clicked into the bindings and the skis felt light as air, curving, gliding, propelling me down the mountain with a rush of pure adrenaline and elation. They were the proverbial glass slipper, the perfect fit. And colour co-ordinated - my skis, my boots, my poles, my all-in-one ski suits.

For a few brief moments I put my skis aside in favour of snowboarding (in the early 90’s it was super cool to be out there with the hip and trendy boarding set) but I always came back to my skis. I didn’t get the same buzz from boarding. Just massive bruises and knees like footballs.

“Et maintenant.....” The radio announces an old song by Michel Sardou and interrupts my reverie. My eyes focus on the present day. We are arriving in Morzine in the Portes de Soleil region of France.

It’s been fourteen years since my last ski holiday. What will it be like?

We collect our short, fat skis from the hire shop (I was right not to bring my antiquated 190’s. They would have looked totally out of place, and worse still, they no longer matched my new 2 piece outfit ).

We took the bubble to the top of the mountain, emerging into the sunshine beside one of the sun terraces. I tightened my boots, slipped my gloved hands through the straps of the poles and stepped into my bindings. Click. Click. I pushed off and that familiar rush of adrenaline mixed with pure elation washed over me.

I didn’t tackle the icy mogul field. I stayed well clear of the powder. And at times my skis were more snowplough than parallel. But there’s nothing in the world that beats the feeling of satisfaction when you reach the bottom of a run and look back up to see where you’ve come from.

And what a great metaphor for life!

Because you should always take the time to look back and see how far you’ve come. Just as you must always have a clear vision of where you’re going.

After all, if you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?

Hallelujah - Alexandra Made It To No1

2009-01-28T14:18:00.003Z

Just as Obama last week, Alexandra Burke achieved her dream of winning the X Factor.

She achieved it through hard work, through focus and through knowing what she wanted and where she wanted to be.

The knock back she received three years ago only served to spur her on and make her more determined, and she used that time wisely, honing her skills, working towards the day she knew would come.

We can all learn a lesson from Alexandra. When you get a knockback, you have a choice. You can lie down or you can come back fighting.

Most of the men I admire today came back from nothing. Paul McKenna was down to his last few pennies, Anthony Robbins built a successful business and lost it all, leaving him with less than nothing. Simon Cowell was virtually bankrupt, Victor Mark Hansen was declared bankrupt by the courts. Richard Branson had many failures. Peter Jones hit rock bottom.

In other words, there’s hope for all of us. As the saying goes, “Once you hit rock bottom, there’s only one place to go and that’s up”.

So, if you’re going through hard times, start asking yourself what you really want. Take the time to listen, and you might find the answer surprising.

Then, once you know what you want, TAKE ACTION. Start focusing on the future, and think of how you can get there.

What’s the one thing you can do today that will bring you one step closer to your goal? It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Start with baby steps.

Stu Mittleman, the world record holder for Ultra Distance running, said

“I never ran 1000 miles.
I could never have done that.
I ran one mile 1000 times.”

So start with those baby steps.

But whatever you decide to do, START.

Weight Loss - What's Realistic For You?

2009-01-28T14:03:00.005Z

Do you, like me, pour over the latest issue of Heat or Hello, wishing you looked like the model on the cover?

Well, guess what, so does the model! They don’t look like that in real life. They’ve been airbrushed to within an inch of their lives. You only have to look at the “Stars Without Makeup” features (or work as an air hostess and carry them on your flight) to know that they are actually human. Admit it. Who hasn’t looked at Cameron Diaz or VB and secretly felt smug because your skin is so much better than theirs?

Let’s face it. If we “ordinary” people had an entourage of helpers looking after us – personal chef, personal trainer, nanny, stylist, makeup artist, hairdresser and many more to get us out of the house every morning – wouldn’t we look a million dollars?

Have any of you ever had a professional shot taken? I have. I once went to an agency in Glasgow along with a friend and our mums. Of course that was the day I woke up to find the first spot of the decade radiating out at me from the bathroom mirror.

Anyway, we rolled up in our day clothes, no makeup on, looking decidedly average. But within half an hour we were primped and preened, full face on (the cement still drying), hair teased and twisted into some semblance of order. We had no idea what we looked like. There was a distinct lack of mirrors. I took one look at my friend’s face with the makeup laden on by a trowel and my heart sank.

I was whisked away to my studio, where I was given various what can only be described as “things” to wear on my top half (my bottom half in jeans and boots out of range of the viewfinder).

In one shot I’m standing with a black plastic bin bag wrapped around me.

In another, I am wearing a flying jacket pulled seductively off one shoulder, but let me tell you it felt a million miles away from sexy.

We finished the shoot and I headed back to reception to meet the rest of the gang. Sitting in the bright lights of reception, traces of pan makeup still showing as streaks down our necks and lipstick that these days would pass for a permanent tattoo, we began to wonder what we’d done.

An hour passed. We were getting more and more fed up. Another hour passed. We were deliberating whether to get up and walk out, but curiosity got the better of us.

Finally, we were shown into the screening room, and there we were, on the screen, larger than life for all to see.

And we looked amazing!

My black bin bag looked like spun silk, my hair elegant and understated, my makeup perfect, my skin dewy and blemish free.

My mum, with a white feather boa draped around her shoulders, would have given Ava Gardner in her hey day a run for her money.

Of course we bought the photos. Of course they cost a fortune. Of course my husband had a fit at the amount of money I had spent.

Until he saw the photos. And then he took them into work to show off his perfect wife.

I tell this story because when you decide to lose weight, you have to compare yourself to you. No-one else.

Choose a target weight that is realistic for YOU – size 0 is so overrated anyway – and focus on a time when you were really happy in your skin and felt amazing.

The more you visualise yourself as how you want to be, the more your brain will accept the change as reality, and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Be the best YOU can be, spots, warts and all.

And on bad days?

Find a friend with Adobe Photoshop.

Fears and Phobias

2009-01-28T13:20:00.012Z

Chris is 12 years old. He has been terrified of the dentist for as long as he can remember. Or, more specifically, of the needles. As a baby, he needed lots of injections and he has carried the fear and bad memories of those times throughout his childhood and into his early teens.

At her wits end, his mum calls me to see if I can help.

I meet with Chris. He knows what I’m there for, and he wants to change but he’s understandably nervous. I mention the “D” word and he collapses, sobbing uncontrollably and shaking from head to foot.

I take him through an exercise which involves running the pictures in his mind backwards, and changing things about the memories to make them comical. Because memories can’t hurt us. It’s the emotions we attach to the memories that affect us, and when we wipe out the bad emotions, we are left with nothing more than an old black and white photo that we can either choose to file away or delete.

Our mind loves processes, so it stores information in a filing cabinet in the brain. It likes to link similar memories and keep them in the same place. For positive memories, this is a good thing. But for negative memories, it means that bit by bit your mind is storing a whole host of bad memories, piling emotions one on top of the other, and when we finally blow up or break down, we're feeling not just the emotion from a single event but from all the stored emotions at once.

Fears and phobias are only maintained because we continue to focus on the thing we’re afraid of, and the more we think of it, the worse it gets.

Using Neuro Linguistic Programming (a fancy term for learning how to use your brain effectively) we can “play” with our mind and change our programming to realise that the fear is not as bad as we were making it out to be in our mind.

Chris had a dental appointment the next day. He still felt slightly nervous but he walked straight into the room, sat down in the dentist’s chair and opened his mouth, ready for treatment.

The dentist stood open-mouthed himself. He couldn’t believe it was the same boy.

Many of us have fears and phobias, whether they be of needles, the dentist, spiders, snakes, dogs, flying... the list goes on.

Most fears and phobias are either linked to a specific event in the past or are learned behaviour from someone else. The good news is, using NLP and hypnotherapy, like Chris, you can be rid of your fears once and for all and get on with your life.

Because life is for living, not for fearing.

Read more about fears and phobias on my website

Our Deepest Fear

2009-01-13T14:26:00.004Z

'Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It's our light, not our darkness, that mosts frightens us.
We ask ourselves: who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of the universe.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking,
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory of the universe
that is within us. It's not just in some of us: it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
And as we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.'

Marianne Williamson

Paul McKenna Weight Loss blog

2009-01-13T13:49:00.006Z

Two and a half years ago, I lost 28lbs with Paul McKenna’s I Can Make You Thin programme. It was the easiest weight loss system I had ever been on and my life seemed to improve almost overnight. Previously, the most I had lost was 18lbs with weightwatchers, but I put it all back on and more.

In the last two and a half years I have maintained my weight to within + or - 7lbs.

Paul has four golden rules:-
1. Eat when you’re hungry
2. Eat consciously
3. Eat what you want and not what you think you should
4. Stop when you’re full.
That’s it! That’s all.

When I tell people this, they look at me in disbelief. How can you lose weight and eat what you want?

Well, I did. At first, I continued to eat what I would normally eat, but I paid more attention to what I was putting in my mouth, and I got the hang of stopping when I thought I was full. I slowed down my eating and I discovered that there were some foods that I just didn’t like any more. I knew things had changed for the better when I stood in the cafe of Frasers department store and ordered soup and a roll for lunch. Until I opened my mouth, I was going to order a scone and a piece of millionaire’s shortbread, so no-one was more surprised than me when I ordered soup. What’s more, it was delicious.

Suddenly, I had the urge to exercise. I live on the outskirts of Edinburgh and am blessed to have some beautiful walks nearby, so I plugged in my ipod and started walking round the reservoir. I bought myself a pedometer and I diligently recorded my steps in a journal every night.

I was still eating chocolate and chips from time to time, but I wasn’t having cravings, and for the first time ever I was able to eat a couple of squares of chocolate and put the rest of the bar back in the cupboard. After all, naturally thin people eat chocolate, and chips, and pizza – they just know when to stop. I didn’t have to think about food, and I didn’t have to avoid food. Life was much easier.

Eating out was more enjoyable. I could eat anything off the menu as long as I stopped when I felt full. But whereas I would have once picked a creamy pasta sauce, I now found myself naturally drawn to a healthier option. And on the days that I wanted the creamy sauce, I had the creamy sauce and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

For the first six months of my weight loss, the weight dropped off at a steady rate. But, as always, the self sabotage started creeping in. I had a few personal challenges and the chocolate and sweet tooth slipped in unnoticed a little at a time. I was busy getting my business up and running and the walks around the reservoir went from being a regular thing, to the occasional treat, to non-existent (there are only so many times you can blame the weather).

How many of you can relate to this?

Interestingly enough, my weight remained constant. I wasn’t losing weight but I wasn’t gaining it either. The changes I had made were obviously on a much deeper level than anything I had done before.

As a coach and therapist, I fully believe that I have to “walk the walk, and talk the talk”. I still have more weight to lose. I’m a size 16/18 and I want to be a size 12. I got complacent because I looked and felt so much better than I did before, and I accepted myself as a size 16/18. But not any longer. I’m ready to deal with what’s holding me back, and I am bringing Paul McKenna back into my everyday life. I know it works for me, and I know it will be easy and effortless. I have some negative emotion that I have to work on, and I will enlist the help of a fellow coach to do that.

Einstein said “You cannot solve a problem in the same consciousness that created it”. I may be a therapist but I still need to ask for help when I need it.

There is a wonderful story about Ghandi .

A woman came to Ghandi and asked him to tell her overweight son to stop eating sugar.

“Madam” he replied. “Come back in three weeks time.”

Surprised at this request, she nevertheless returned with her son three weeks later.

Ghandi looked at the boy and said “Stop eating sugar.”

When the boy had left the room, the mother turned to Ghandi and asked why he hadn’t said this three weeks ago.

Ghandi replied, “Madam, three weeks ago I myself was eating sugar.”

I will keep you posted on my progress. I’m away to dig out my pedometer.

TFT - Tapping Your Problems Away

2008-12-09T11:18:00.007Z

If I told you there was something you could do any time, any day, anywhere that would give you a natural high, that costs nothing, that has no risks or side effects, you would be interested to learn more, wouldn’t you?

I’m talking about tapping. Or Thought Field Therapy to be exact. In the 1980’s, Dr Roger Callaghan, a well respected psychologist, pioneered this technique which involves tapping with your fingers on specific points of the body located along energy lines, while focusing on the thing that is troubling you. These lines, or meridians, coincide with acupuncture points, and by tapping on them, you can eliminate imbalances in the body’s energy system and in the process, get rid of negative emotions and psychological distress.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And it is.

Tip – if you are sitting on a bus and don’t want to be thought of as the local nutter, just imagine running through the sequence. It will have the same effect. Alternatively, if you want to keep the seat free beside you, then tap away!

Tapping can help you deal with trauma, grief, anxiety, stress, addictive cravings (including cigarettes, food, alcohol and drugs), phobias, depression, anger and rage, guilt, shame / embarrassment, jet lag and physical pain, to name but a few.

But rather than reading about it, why not try it? Use the exercise below whenever you are feeling stressed or anxious. This same sequence also works on cravings. At first, you may have to run through the sequence a few times, but every time you do it, you are teaching your body how to relax, and you will get to the stage when you just need to start the sequence and the feeling of relaxation will flood over you.

It may sound funny to start with, but believe me it works.

Tapping for Anxiety / Cravings (as described in “Tapping The Healer Within” by Roger Callaghan)

1. Tune the thought field – i.e. think about the thing that is making you anxious.

2. Give it a rating from 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst you could possibly feel, and 1 being no trace of upset (this is so you can compare your rating after the sequence and see the change)

3. Using two fingers of one hand (I use the index and middle finger), tap five times under the eye. About an inch below the bottom of the centre of the bony orbit, high on the cheek. Tap firmly, but not hard enough to cause pain.

4. Tap solidly five times under the arm, about four inches below the armpit, using rigid fingers. In men, this spot is under the arm about even with the nipple. Women can locate this spot by tapping at the centre of the bra under the arm.

5. Tap the collarbone point. To locate it, take two fingers of either hand and run them down the centre of the throat to the top of the centre collarbone notch. This is approximately even with the spot where a man would knot his tie. From there, move straight down an additional inch and then move to the right one inch. Tap this point five times.

6. Perform the nine gamut treatments. Locate the gamut spot on the back of the hand, about an inch below the raised knuckles of the ring finger and little finger when making a fist. Begin tapping the gamut spot with two fingers of the opposite hand, about three to five times per second, and continue tapping while performing all nine steps below (tap five or six times for each of the nine gamut positions). It is very important to tap the gamut spot throughout all nine of these gamut treatments:

· Open the eyes

· Close the eyes

· Open the eyes and point them down and to the left

· Point the eyes down and to the right

· Whirl the eyes around in a circle in one direction once

· Whirl the eyes around in the opposite direction once

· Hum a few bars of Happy Birthday (Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you)

· Count aloud from one to five

· Hum Happy Birthday again

7. Tap five times under the eye again.

8. Tap five times under the arm again.

9. Tap the collarbone point five times again.

10. Rate your level of anxiety / craving again from 1 to 10. If it has gone down to 1, move to step 11. If not, repeat the process until it has come down.

11. To close the process, roll your eyes from floor to ceiling. Hold your head level and move your eyes down. Then begin tapping the gamut point as you move your eyes upwards.

When I teach this to people for the first time, they usually giggle. But the effect is amazing. You can use this technique as much as you want – the more you use it, the more you will want to use it.

For more information about TFT, case studies and tapping sequences for other problems, read “Tapping The Healer Within” by Roger Callaghan.

A New Day in India

2008-12-03T10:38:00.028Z

We’re standing on a railway station platform in Madras, India, watching local women arrange their colourful baskets of flowers, ready to weave them into the hair of willing passersby for a few rupees
.

The platform is crowded. No-one takes any notice of the dead man lying in the corner, other than to step over him as the train pulls into the station.

On this day, life is cheap in India.

The train stops. First class is empty, second class quiet. The class with no name is overflowing, faces pressed at the bars of every window, hopefuls hanging out of the doors and climbing onto the roof. It’s a scene worthy of Michael Palin’s Around The World In 80 Days, only the book hasn’t been written yet.

We arrive at our destination. A beach hotel that we have swapped for three days in place of the crew hotel in the city.

We’re shown to our individual bungalows on the beach. The Indian Ocean is a stone’s throw away.

We’ve been told about the magnificent sunrise and decide to experience it. We order a wake up call for 3am and at 3.05am we carry some chairs down to the sand and sit.

We order tea and toast.

We sit.

The night is inky black but the stars are bright. It’s humid.

Our tea and toast arrives. The waiter seems unfazed by our choice of setting.

The sky is still inky black.

We sit.

We begin to yawn. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

And then suddenly like magic, a tiny sliver of light appears fleetingly on the horizon.

It disappears as quickly as it had come.

And then it happens. Little by little, more streaks of light, slowly at first and then spreading quickly.

The sun begins to rise, the orange glow becomes stronger by the second. And then we see them. The fishing boats on the horizon. Small wooden craft, manned by father and son. One navigates, one casts the nets.

And from silence comes the sounds of the fisherman, shouting, laughing, happy at their work.

It’s a gorgeous morning. We go to bed and sleep.

Later that day, we walk along the beach. A group of local children come over and smile. They walk with us. We wonder if they are looking for money.

They lead us up the beach to their families sitting mending fishing nets in the sun.

The children indicate we follow them into their small village on the beachfront.

People wave. People smile. Their life is simple and yet so organised.

They take us into their church. On a beach beside the Indian Ocean is the most exquisite little church.

They escort us back down to the waters edge. Collectively they grin, wave and are gone.

They just wanted to show us their world. And for that short space of time, there was nowhere in the world we would have rather been.

To Fly Or Not To Fly

2008-12-03T10:17:00.004Z

We were coming in to land in Rio. The cabin was secure, the passengers gazing expectantly out the window waiting for the first glimpse of Sugar Loaf Mountain.

I returned to the galley and was putting on my lippy when I suddenly found myself flat on my back. Through turbulence. I laughed, picked myself up and strapped myself into the crew seat with only my pride slightly dented. Thankfully the 747 had a separate galley to the rear so I hadn’t taken a dive in full view of the passengers.

Other times I hadn’t been so lucky, but more often than not my naivety saved my blushes.

Like the time I was standing in the front galley of a 737 adjusting my stocking tops when I looked over to see the man in 1a following my every move with a big grin on his face. He shook my hand when he disembarked saying it was the best flight he’d ever been on.

Or helping a father attach the extension seatbelt for his baby, totally unaware of the sniggers and lewd comments coming from the rest of the group as my hands hovered dangerously close to his private parts.

Or leaning over to the window seat to serve a drink and accidentally giving the guy in the aisle seat a boob massage.

Need I go on?

Life was fun, if hard work. I walked for miles during an average flight and was fitter than most of my friends, even with their gym memberships. The night flights were the hardest. Sitting in the galley at 3am with a hot water bottle stuffed down the inside of your pinny, trying to stay awake until it was time to serve breakfast. Yes we had bunk beds in the tail of the 747. But invariably on the flights long enough to allow you the luxury of some time off, the minute you hit the bunk and strapped yourself in, the turbulence would start. Here’s a tip – if you don’t like turbulence, don’t sit at the back of the plane. It’s always worse there. And of course, there was the frequent indignity of the airport security insisting that you open your case, surely just to give the surrounding passengers a boost as they caught a glimpse into the life of the air hostess... or at least of their dirty underwear. Having survived all that, I used to lose the last shred of dignity that remained as I fell into a deep sleep on the shuttle back to Edinburgh, drooling down the shoulder of the unfortunate businessman in the seat next to me.

Oh yes, I was glamorous, me!

Fortunately, my friends didn’t think so. In fact, their brains couldn’t compute my life, and so they ignored it. Completely. I would come home from Buenos Aires, buzzing at the things I had seen and done, and my friends would listen politely and say “That’s nice” and in the same breath, “Did you see we got our new curtains?”

They didn’t keep in touch with me. I had to keep in touch with them. They couldn’t keep up with my busy schedule. But it didn’t bother me. That was just how it was. I slotted back into their lives as and when I could.

But after four years, I started to yearn for something more. And that something was normality. Perhaps it was the constant rounds of “Chicken or Beef? Tea or coffee?” Perhaps it was forever going on trips with crews I didn’t know and having to start all over again. At that time there were 10,000 BA crew members so the chances of flying with someone you knew were slim. For every trip on a 747, there was a crew of 14 between cabin and flight crew. Friendships were made quickly and just as quickly dissolved. You told people things you wouldn’t tell your best friend, knowing it was likely you would never see them again. You tended to drift towards likeminded people. Personally I preferred shopping and sightseeing over partying. Although, when we did party, we partied hard.

I longed for the chance to sleep in a bed, all night ever night.

So, when the Gulf War started and business took a nose dive (figuratively, not literally), BA offered us blocks of unpaid leave. Seizing my opportunity, I asked for a year off to go back to university to take a postgraduate business course with languages. BA said yes.

I was a student again and I loved it. I hadn’t particularly applied myself the first time around but this time I couldn’t get enough of studying. And of course I had the best of both worlds. Technically I was still employed by BA and had my staff travel perks. When most fellow students were heading home for Christmas to sponge off their parents, I was on the first flight out to Bangkok with my friends.

As the end of my sabbatical drew near, I was having nightmares of having to get back on a plane again and go back to my old life. I had changed too much. I had discovered a new life out there with a comfy bed thrown in for good measure. The bed won.

I look back on my time as an air hostess with affection. I have seen more places in the world than most people could ever imagine. I learned about life, I learned about people, I learned about myself. And as for the things I wouldn’t tell my best friend? As the saying goes, “What goes on tour stays on tour!”

The Road Less Travelled

2008-12-02T22:41:00.009Z

I worked in the Royal Bank of Scotland (in the days when it was a respected profession). I had studied languages but drifted into banking. In my youth I had no clear vision of where I was going. I was definitely a drifter.

One day I looked closely at the bank customers with their stressed and tired faces, their stressed and tired children, their stressed and tired lives. And I decided there and then to get out before I turned into the same.

I applied to Thomson Holidays and received the Golden Ticket, sending me to work in Mallorca.

My work colleagues were aghast. How could I leave a safe, steady secure job for life with final salary pension (told you it was a while ago!) to go out to a foreign country on a whim and a six month contract.

“Because it’s a safe, steady secure job for life,” I replied, and went out to buy myself a suitcase.

Ha ha. I wish!

In those days, probably something more like this ...

I never looked back.

Life as a holiday rep was hard work and sometimes lonely, but never dull.

At the age of 22, I grew up quickly. Dealing with the general public from behind a glass screened counter had in no way prepared me for what lay ahead.

I was fortunate. After our training in Magaluf (which I swore never to return to as long as I lived – in the 80’s, Magaluf was Blackpool in the sun), I was sent up north to work in Alcudia and Ca’n Picafort, where the locals respected that I was learning the language. My business Spanish learned at college was a far cry from Mallorquin, but in time, I spoke fluent Spanish (castellano), albeit with a Mallorquin accent. I understood Mallorquin perfectly and could converse in everyday conversation.

As a rep, I experienced the best, and the worst, of humanity. And the worst was bad. The drunks, the rapes, the child abusers, the drug addicts, the verbal abuse, the medical emergencies. But most of all there were the deaths.

How many 22 year olds have sat on a beach holding the hand of a dying man while his wife was upstairs taking an afternoon siesta. Have been called to a hotel bedroom with the doctor to attend the double death of an elderly couple. Have argued with an ambulance driver who was refusing to take a body away, saying it had to stay on the hotel terrace until the judge pronounced the death (which incidentally would be in two days time because judges don’t work weekends).

People think the job of a rep is glamorous and a laugh a minute. That all we do is drink ourselves into oblivion and sleep with anyone who asks us.

I’m not saying there weren’t reps like that, but that’s another story.

The point to this story?

I took the road less travelled. Like Ruth Lorenzo from the X Factor I went to work in a foreign country. That’s when my life began.

And yes, now in later life, I may not be in a safe, secure job for life with a final pension on my ever increasing salary. But by god, I have LIVED and seen more than I would ever have thought possible.

And am a better person for it.

The Road Less Travelled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I-- I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference...

Robert Frost

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

2008-12-02T21:51:00.010Z

I used to have an identity. I used to be someone. I was the one everyone wanted to talk to at parties. I was glamour personified. I was fun and perceived to be maybe just a little naughty. I was ... an air hostess.

In those days, the place names of Rio, Johannesburg, Nairobi, Caracas, Vancouver, Sydney, New York, Bangkok and Hong Kong tripped off my tongue. I jumped on and off planes like most people jump on the number 44 bus.

And then one day I hung up my uniform and became normal. I had a normal job, a normal life and I holidayed in Florida.

Ten years later and many several pounds heavier, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw someone else.

I saw a beige person. I was dressed in beige. What had happened to the brightly coloured clothes I had amassed from all over the world? My hair was beige where once it was fiery red, dirty blond or rich mahogany, depending on the whim of the moment. My life was beige. I had turned into a mum, a wife and a drudge.

Don’t get me wrong. I love being a mum. I love the chat at the school gates. I love the sense of community. And most of all, I love the love that comes from that little person. The smile that melts your heart. The chubby arms wound tightly around your neck.

But something was missing. I needed colour, I needed life. I needed to find the old me.

I took stock of my life. I was working in my husband’s business, living his dream, not mine. I was living in a place I hated, which made my heart heavy every time I drove into the village limits. I had lost my enthusiasm, my sense of adventure and worst of all, my self confidence.

They say that inside every old woman there is a young girl wondering what the hell happened. That was exactly how I was feeling , and I’d only just turned forty!

Little by little, I turned my life around. I retrained in Reiki and began helping others. We moved away from that ugly village where, if you weren’t born there, you were an “incomer”, an outcast, a social pariah. We moved to a vibrant village, full of like-minded people, community spirit and fun.

Then I met Paul McKenna at a seminar and my life changed for the better. I lost weight using his system. I decided to train as a hypnotherapist.

And I auditioned for the local theatre company. I was a closet karaoke queen. I had never sung in front of anyone in my life and suddenly I found myself standing in front of a panel of four with nowhere to hide. I opened my mouth, took a deep breath and sang louder than I had ever done in my life.

“The sun will come out tomorrow...”

And I knew that the sun would come out.

That if I was stuck with a day that was grey and lonely, I’d stick out my chin and grin and say “tomorrow’s only a day away”.

Sitting Waiting For Inspiration

2008-12-02T17:20:00.008Z

In his book “You Can Have What You Want”, Michael Neill suggests taking time out to sit in a chair and only move when you feel absolutely inspired to do so.

So, I put aside my busy schedule. I choose my chair and I sit, waiting for inspiration to strike.

A vision of the laundry basket piled high with ironing hovers above me. Desperately necessary, yes. Inspirational, no.

I continue to sit.

Check my emails? Tackle online banking?

Suddenly I get a strong urge to get up and empty the dishwasher. I do it. I go straight back to my comfy chair.

It feels good.

I sit. I’m happy just to sit.

I look around the room. I take in all the bright colours, the shapes.

I look out the window at the trees blowing in the breeze. It’s a gorgeous day. I study the shape of the branches, the leaves. I’ve never noticed how tall the trees are. How each one has its own individual characteristic that makes it unique.

I sit.

I watch the brightly coloured grouse make one of its occasional appearances in my front garden. I follow it with my eyes till it disappears around the corner.

I sit.

A million thoughts come into my head and, as quickly as they come, they are gone.

I sit.

Inspiration hits me hard and propels me out of the seat. I switch on the TV, I hook up my karaoke machine and I spend the next two hours singing at the top of my voice. Other than the postie giving me a wave of amusement, I’m in my own world and it feels good.

Work can wait. The house can wait. The outside world can wait.

Sometimes life is just about sitting.

Mallorcan reflections

2008-12-02T15:05:00.029Z

25.11.08

I’m sitting on a rock with warm sunshine on my face looking out at turquoise waters lapping gently into the cove. The beach is brilliant white.... and empty. It’s November, and it’s Mallorca. Cala Mondrago to be exact.

The memories wash over me of happy times in my 20’s when I worked on this magical island. Long, lazy days in the sun. Alfa’s discotheque at night. The boat trips. The horse riding. The friends.

I lost my way for a while (seventeen years to be exact) while I travelled the world and then settled down to have a family.

But of all the places I have seen in the world, and there have been many, in my heart of hearts, Mallorca has always been the one for me.

During my long absence, she called to me many times but there were always good reasons for postponing the trip.

And then one day, two years ago, I finally boarded the plane that was to bring Mallorca back into my life forever.

I touched down on the runway in Palma and felt an inexplicable happiness and sense of pure joy rush through every muscle, every fibre of my body. I had finally come home. I opened my mouth and a flood of spanish and mallorquin came out. My brain kicked into gear and I was thinking, living, breathing the language.

I met my friends again after seventeen years. They looked exactly the same (if a little older). They sounded the same. I looked into their eyes and I was catapulted back in time. The passing years were not important.

In the past two years I have been back to Mallorca six times.

My life is in Scotland. I am Scottish, I’m proud to be Scottish and I love Scotland. The sound of bagpipes brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my throat.

But a part of my heart has been lost forever to that little island in the Med where for me time stands still and we are all still 20 years old.
Dedicado a Toni, Toni y Monserrat.

Far From The Madding Crowd in Mallorca

2008-12-02T14:13:00.015Z

Finca Ca'n Corritx, Ca'n Picafort 26.11.08

I sit on my vast terrace looking out over the lush Mallorcan countryside. I’m 3kms away from the hustle and bustle of touristville, but it feels a million miles away.

I watch the horses in the field. I hear the cockerel crowing and fussing over his girls (it’s midday but he’s never quite got the hang of the early morning wakeup call).

I gaze over to the Tramuntana mountain range rising majestically in the distance, far beyond the line of pine trees that signals the extent of my world.

A soft thud comes from behind me. Another juicy orange is ripe and ready for eating.

A warm breeze sends ripples over the surface of the expansive swimming pool and rustles the leaves of the palm trees bordering the tennis courts.

I fleetingly consider hitting a few balls, but decide to go back to quiet contemplation.

Finca Ca'n Corritx, 3kms from Ca'n Picafort, North Mallorca

Typical farmhouse sympathetically extended as “agro turismo” hotel
Friendly owners live on site
4 two bedroom, two bathroom apartments
3 one bedroom apartments
All with large private terrace and barbequeAir conditioning / Central heating
Fully fitted kitchen with ceramic hob, oven, microwave, toaster, washing machine, iron and ironing board Maximum 22 guestsMagnificent swimming pool with children’s section
Shaded seating area
Private tennis court
Orange and lemon groves
Landscaped gardens
Extensive farmland and stables to explore

Tel and fax: 00 34 971 53 84 00

Contact Bernardo

Open all year round.

(Please note the owners don't speak much English. Contact me if you would like me to help you with your communication. Happy holidays. Cheers, Susan.)

Inspired Reading

2008-12-02T13:20:00.002Z

Books are one of my passions in life. I have spent many a happy hour in bookstores, and libraries, browsing the shelves of the travel and self help sections. The delicious feel of opening a pristine cover for the first time, the smell of the pages.

Here are a selection of the books that have either brought me enlightenment, got me through the bad times or just made me laugh out loud.

In no particular order:-

Travels - Michael Crichton

Dare To Win - Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Chicken Soup For The Soul series - Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Awaken The Giant Within -Anthony Robbins

You Can Heal Your Life - Louise Hay

You Can Have What You Want - Michael Neill

How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body - Dr David Hamilton

Change Your Life In 7 Days - Paul McKenna

It's The Thought That Counts - Dr David Hamilton

Neither Here Nor There - Bill Bryson

Happy reading!

Inspired Listening

2008-12-02T13:10:00.005Z

Okay, I admit it, I am a junkie! A self help junkie that is.

Over the years I have read many books and listened to many audio programs. Some were amazing, some not so great. But if you can take one thing away from each one, it's been a good investment of your time.

Here are a selection of audio programmes that I would thoroughly recommend:-

Positivity - Paul McKenna
Get The Edge - Anthony Robbins
See You At The Top - Zig Ziglar
Effortless Success - Michael Neill

The Power Of Clarity - Brian Tracy

Great Communicators - Peter Thomson

Happy listening!

Hypnotherapy FAQs

2008-11-19T12:51:00.007Z

Hypnosis is a relaxed state of consciousness which feels very much like daydreaming. In the state of relaxation you are more open to suggestions and in this natural state your unconscious mind has the ability to accept, or reject, information or suggestions given by you or by the hypnotherapist.

How does hypnosis work?
Hypnotherapy allows us to communicate with the unconscious mind and reinforce new patterns of behaviour at a cellular level. The unconscious mind accounts for 90% of our daily activities, running our bodily functions, storing our memories and past experiences in a database and filtering information the brain receives every second into a manageable amount. During hypnosis, the unconscious mind accepts positive suggestions that will help us.

Is hypnosis safe?
Absolutely. There is nothing mysterious about hypnosis, and as a hypnotherapist, I cannot make you accept suggestions you do not agree with. Between the conscious and the unconscious mind there is a gatekeeper called the critical barrier, and this barrier will reject any suggestions that are not congruent with your beliefs, values or morals.

What is stage hypnosis?
You may think that participants in stage hypnosis are being made to do things against their will, but in fact the hypnotist has cleverly identified those persons who are outgoing and willing to make a fool of themselves. Occasionally, you will see participants who don’t seem to be responding, and this is because their conscious mind is telling them they are up for the fun, but their subconscious is saying “You really don’t want to do that!”.

How does hypnosis feel?
We all experience light levels of hypnosis during our normal waking life. If you have ever got caught up in the emotion of a film, or arrived at your destination and didn’t remember driving part of the journey, you have already been in a form of trance, or hypnosis. During hypnosis you will remain conscious of your surroundings. You may experience some of the following sensations: tingling in your fingers or limbs, fluttering eyelids, a sense of lightness or alternatively a heavy feeling like you are sinking, a sense or numbness or limb distortion, feelings of emotions. Most of all, a deep sense of relaxation. These are all perfectly normal. Don’t be surprised if you don’t feel hypnotised. Just expect the trance to occur gradually and it will.

What do doctors think of hypnosis?
Doctors have now begun to accept hypnosis and hypnotherapy as a tool which can be used in conjunction with traditional medicine. Doctors recognise that over 60% of our physical problems start in our mind, and stress, tension, anxiety and worry are the biggest factors in the increase of heart attacks and even death. Negative emotions can affect our health, our body and our life. All emotions come from the unconscious mind and can be deleted or altered during hypnotherapy.

Is hypnosis the same thing as meditation?
Hypnotism and meditation are opposites of the same. You could say that meditation is s state of BEING, while hypnosis is a state of DOING. We use hypnosis to achieve a given goal whereas meditation has no goal (unless you can conceive that just BEING is a goal). In hypnosis, a person is given positive suggestions or visual images, while in meditation the person is to have their mind become clear and free of thought.

What kind of person makes the best hypnotic subject?
Someone who is willing to allow him or herself to be hypnotised makes the best subject. It is best to not think too much about the process of hypnosis but instead just “go” with the flow of the process.
Strong-minded people work well, as a strong-minded person is someone who achieves the goals they set out to achieve. They generally can concentrate better and can focus better on the suggestions of the hypnotherapist. Remember a stubborn person is not a strong-minded person. Stubborn people may be difficult to hypnotise. If you are an open-minded person and willing to allow yourself to be hypnotised, you will be receptive to hypnotherapy.

Can a person resist being hypnotised?
Unless the subject is willing and agreeable to being hypnotised, the whole thing is a waste of time for both parties. However, a hypnotic master may have many techniques to overcome the subject’s conscious mind resistance in a very subtle way, and bring these resistant subjects into a deep trance.

What is the role of the hypnotherapist?
The role of the hypnotherapist is to give positive suggestions that will help the subject make the changes he/she wants to make that are congruent with his/her beliefs, values and lifestyle.

Can a person lose weight using hypnosis?
Yes. Hypnosis can help a person separate emotions from food, increase motivation to eat healthily and take regular exercise, increase body metabolism and teach you to eat smaller portions. Visualisation techniques to imagine the body you want are particularly effective as the mind does not know the difference between imagination and reality, and encodes the new information at a cellular level.

What if I can’t visualise?
Close your eyes for a moment and think of your front door. What colour is it? What side is the handle?....Congratulations, you’ve just visualised. It is not necessary to see things in minute detail. If you are having problems visualising, it may be because you are an auditory person and prefer to hear instructions, or a kinaesthetic person who can feel, rather than see. The hypnotherapist will adapt their communication to best suit your method of learning.

Can hypnosis help a person to stop smoking?
Absolutely. If you want to stop smoking, my two part smoking cessation therapy will help you quit. The key word is “want”. You have to “want” to stop smoking, not think you “should” stop smoking or “must” stop smoking. Most people stop in the first session with the second session being used to reinforce the new positive behaviour.

Is there any danger of a subject not awakening from hypnosis?
There is no danger whatsoever of not awakening, or arousing, from hypnosis, even if in the very deepest level of trance. Occasionally a subject will take a little time to come back from trance as the experience of being in hypnosis can be so pleasant that one almost doesn’t want to leave it and return to the high paced world of today. However the subject will always arouse or awaken from hypnosis even if left entirely alone. If you hypnotise a person and leave them in hypnosis, they will convert from hypnosis to natural sleep and awaken feeling peaceful and refreshed. Since hypnosis is induced by suggestions of going to sleep, it stands to reason that the reverse of the process presenting suggestions for the awakening from trance are bound to arouse the subject.

What else can hypnosis help with?
Hypnosis can help banish fears and phobias, help stress management, increase athletic ability in sport, help develop talent, help with academic learning and get rid of bad habits. Everything we do in life we do to make ourselves feel better. If you are stuck in a bad habit, it’s because your unconscious mind thinks your behaviour in some way serves a purpose. Whether we smoke, drink, overeat, overspend, gamble or take drugs, we do these things because at the time they make us feel good. Often there is an underlying negative emotion that triggers these behaviours. Hypnosis helps you to banish these negative emotions and replace the bad habits with positive behaviour.

The Hypnotic Contract
Hypnosis is a contract between two people and we both have a part to play. My part of the contract is that I will give you all the suggestions and therapies I feel will allow you to go into a level of hypnosis where you can naturally and easily make the changes you want to make. All I expect you to do is to instantly accept all the suggestions, follow along with them, find yourself agreeing with them, want them to work, imagine them working and expect them to work. Don’t fight or analyse them, just want them to work.

The World According To Rocky Balboa

2008-11-19T12:28:00.004Z

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done.

Now, if you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not point fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him, or her. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that. And until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life!"

Rocky Balboa 2008

We Are All Visitors...

2008-11-19T11:30:00.006Z

29.9.08

"We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home." - Australian Aboriginal Proverb

I was in Edinburgh Zoo with my son two weeks ago on the Monday holiday, in the rain…again, when we came across a stunning picture of Ayres Rock in Australia with this proverb written over it. It struck me so strongly I felt compelled to take a note of it.

Last weekend my father was taken into hospital. He has leukaemia and his immune system is so low that he has recently gone from one infection to the next. On Saturday he told us that he wants to stop the treatment, that he wants to be free of his body, that God will take care of him, and I was once again reminded of this proverb.

These words give me strength.

And I started thinking about how fortunate we are as a family to have these last few days to say our goodbyes and say everything we need to say. So many people don’t get that opportunity. People die suddenly through illness, or accidents, or terrorist attacks, and the ones left behind are left with things unsaid, without that final hug.

We are all on loan to this world, and none of us know when our time is up.

If there are things you’ve been meaning to say to someone, please say them today. Don’t wait. Because we never know what tomorrow will bring.

I am at peace. I have thanked my father for all the things he did for me. Some we laughed over, some we cried at. I have said all the things I have wanted to say over the years, but never knew how, and I am glad to have this opportunity to do so.

Please go out today and do the same.

This article was written on 29 September 2008. My father passed away peacefully on 2 October with my brother by his side.

To Dad - Till we meet again!